It's been tough recently.
A loved family member died this morning. He was diagnosed with cancer only about a month and a half ago, nobody had any clue before then, and we made plans for me to go visit him over Spring Break, and guess what, today was the last day of my quarter. My flight there is on Monday. His wife's birthday is tomorrow. It just all sucks.
Having to watch this happen over phones and internet during the last two weeks of my quarter when I had all kinds of papers and midterms and play performances was pretty rough. I've eaten quite a bit of brownies, candy, nondairy ice cream the past couple of days. I sort of know this is an excuse. I'm about 60% sure I wouldn't be responding to stress/grief by eating if it weren't a total trope that I've read about so much over the course of my weight loss journey. But I don't care that much. Probably, when this Lent thing ends, I will go straight back to smoking pot and do that instead of eating. That's not a great coping strategy either and kind of kills the point of abstaining for a bit - kind of, not entirely - but I don't really care about that either. It's all about not caring. About dropping all the put-togetherness and saying fuck it, I'm just going to throw myself into something I feel like doing, something that's supposed to be comforting, because even if it's not, it's at least distracting, and it feels like... like a certain kind of power to allow myself not to worry about, not to constrain and control myself. Because shit fucking sucks and one way to reduce the stress is to not hold myself to high standards about stuff that isn't that important in the short term.
I talked to one of my classmates yesterday about it and she said that last semester she had someone important die too. I made a joke about chocolate and she said yeah, she gained about 2 pounds in brownies when that happened. That really brought me down to earth about the food thing. 2 pounds, so what if I gain 2 pounds? I've lost 50. It's not as though a week or two of throwing caution to the winds is going to ruin my whole project. It's not as if I won't be coping with this through exercise, too. It's not as if I can eat 500 calories in excess several days in a row without feeling yucky. Even if I'm logging quite a few positive calorie balances these days, it's not going to have a huge impact immediately.
So there's that. Oh, and I won't be counting calories next week because I'll be away and because fuck that and because it's another "test" although based on what I said above who cares if I "fail" it. Meh.
Showing posts with label analysis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label analysis. Show all posts
Friday, March 18, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Progress, metabolism, and set points
Today saw a new low of 140.4, which is a good sign. It's about time this train got moving again. When I showed my boyfriend the flatline of the past couple of weeks, he said "well maybe that's just the weight your body wants to be when you're fit and working out." I said maybe if it doesn't budge for another month I'll consider that hypothesis, but I think it's just a plateau. My reasoning is, at the beginning of January my estimated calorie balance was pretty much in line with my actual weight loss. If the flatline was a reflection of my "really" maintaining, my burn rate would have had to drop to at least 300 calories less than what my formulas predict, in just a few weeks, with no unusual metabolism-affecting behavior on my part. I find that implausible.
It's actually really fascinating to me, why different people have stable or unstable body weight, where their most stable body weight is, and how much ease or difficulty they have in changing it. There's set point theory, which is supported by numerous studies of generally two types. One type is conducted on normal weight people who are put on either low- or high-calorie diets; they tend to lose or gain less weight than expected purely from calorie calculations, and also vary within the sample in ways consistent with their family history as to how much weight change is experienced and whether muscle or fat is affected. The other type of study is conducted on moderately obese people who are put on a diet, and the usual result is that they can lose about 10% of their body weight and then stall out, either because they start getting too hungry to stick to the diet, or for no clear reason even though they are continuing to comply. One flaw with some of these studies is that they put people on extreme diets suddenly, which will of course have metabolic effects, but others make reasonable changes and still get the same results.
Then there are the common and not-so-common situations that really throw that whole idea into question, or at least demand a better understanding of how a set point is set. There are extreme examples like Jennette Fulda/PastaQueen, who became almost 400 pounds and then lost half her body weight, or Jessica Smith who similarly was very fat and then slimmed down enormously. Then what about the "freshman 15" effect? If body weight is more or less hardwired, then why do so many people gain weight when they go to college - why don't their natural hunger mechanisms compensate for the different environmental conditions, say, causing them to eat lightly the day after a pizza party? Why do some people seem to gain weight at much more than the typical pound-per-year rate, piling on the pounds until they reach a psychological breaking point, and always have trouble maintaining a weight loss even if they previously were stable for a time at that weight? Why has my boyfriend's weight been stable plus or minus 2 pounds for years, whereas mine has been more like plus or minus 15? And why has it been so easy for me to lose over 40 pounds? I'm now almost 10 pounds lighter than I ever was as a teenager, 25 pounds lighter than my most average weight, what you might have called my apparent set point, and I'm feeling no backlash. I am still pushing typical deficits of 300-600 calories, and I'm not killing my life with exercise or white-knuckling against hunger. How do you explain that in set point theory?
It's actually really fascinating to me, why different people have stable or unstable body weight, where their most stable body weight is, and how much ease or difficulty they have in changing it. There's set point theory, which is supported by numerous studies of generally two types. One type is conducted on normal weight people who are put on either low- or high-calorie diets; they tend to lose or gain less weight than expected purely from calorie calculations, and also vary within the sample in ways consistent with their family history as to how much weight change is experienced and whether muscle or fat is affected. The other type of study is conducted on moderately obese people who are put on a diet, and the usual result is that they can lose about 10% of their body weight and then stall out, either because they start getting too hungry to stick to the diet, or for no clear reason even though they are continuing to comply. One flaw with some of these studies is that they put people on extreme diets suddenly, which will of course have metabolic effects, but others make reasonable changes and still get the same results.
Then there are the common and not-so-common situations that really throw that whole idea into question, or at least demand a better understanding of how a set point is set. There are extreme examples like Jennette Fulda/PastaQueen, who became almost 400 pounds and then lost half her body weight, or Jessica Smith who similarly was very fat and then slimmed down enormously. Then what about the "freshman 15" effect? If body weight is more or less hardwired, then why do so many people gain weight when they go to college - why don't their natural hunger mechanisms compensate for the different environmental conditions, say, causing them to eat lightly the day after a pizza party? Why do some people seem to gain weight at much more than the typical pound-per-year rate, piling on the pounds until they reach a psychological breaking point, and always have trouble maintaining a weight loss even if they previously were stable for a time at that weight? Why has my boyfriend's weight been stable plus or minus 2 pounds for years, whereas mine has been more like plus or minus 15? And why has it been so easy for me to lose over 40 pounds? I'm now almost 10 pounds lighter than I ever was as a teenager, 25 pounds lighter than my most average weight, what you might have called my apparent set point, and I'm feeling no backlash. I am still pushing typical deficits of 300-600 calories, and I'm not killing my life with exercise or white-knuckling against hunger. How do you explain that in set point theory?
Monday, December 20, 2010
How'd that happen?
Today I weighed in at... 148.8? How did I gain 4.2 pounds in 2 days? Certainly not from the extra calories I've eaten. If I was up to 145.0, I'd understand. I kind of binged over the weekend. But this is clearly a load of crap (well, that, and water).
I've been reluctant to use the word "binge" for my episodes of overeating. I know that true binging is a much uglier affair. When I "binge", I eat about 2500 calories in a day. Many bulimics and binge eaters can eat 2500 calories in a sitting. I also don't have the sense of uncontrol that characterizes problem bineing... I think. I don't feel like I can't stop myself, just like I don't care. I will think "damn it, this is going to put me over maintenance calories, but resisting what I want is just not worth it right now." So... that happens sometimes, and I am reluctant to use the word "binge" not only because it may trivialize a more serious issue, but because I don't want to start thinking of it in terms of that more serious issue, i.e., feeling like I start to lose control simply because I'm using a word that implies that. I brought it out though because I don't know a lighter word for it.
I look back at this weekend and think, what happened? On Friday we spontaneously stopped for a Peanut Buster Parfait after Bikram yoga. I actually thought that was great, because I'd been feeling an itch to have some ice cream, and also chocolate, for a while. I'd been trying to figure in a time when I could afford those calories, and as we were riding home from our 670-calorie workout my boyfriend commented that the 700-calorie dessert sounded real good. I figured - yes, great exchange, I'll still be in deficit for today and this'll satisfy my ice-cream craving so I don't have to think about it anymore. And that seemed to work out great. I don't think this was the trigger. I just bring it up because this was my idea of working to avoid a "binge."
I would be in denial if I didn't acknowledge that pot has something to do with it. Pot causes munchies, and it always seems to cause more irresistible munchies when I go back to it after a break. I don't always go over calories when I smoke pot, but it makes it harder.
I usually "binge" on particular foods, but they aren't "trigger foods" because most of the time I eat those foods in normal amounts. Bread and cheese, particularly mozzarella cheese for some reason, ice cream or chocolate... and then peanut butter is in a special class. Peanut butter is my food that I eat when I'm craving something, but I know I will feel satisfied after just a tablespoon of it.
I might have been pushing it with the carbohydrates in the past week. We did have enriched-flour bagels during the week, and I had made those muffins which, while whole-wheat, obviously contained sugar. Boyfriend wanted to make pizza Saturday night, so that contributed some carbs. And I had eaten random food from the library and coffee on campus earlier in the week. Once I realized I was on the decline, I tried to at least eat protein-heavy foods rather than carbs in the hope of helping to terminate it.
What really I think screws me up though is going off my routine. I get routinized easily, and so I end up forgetting things when the schedule changes. Exercising is harder to make sure I do when it doesn't automatically fit into a slot in my day. I got that intro package at Bikram to go to over the break, but there are two things that aren't working great about my plans to go almost every day: one, I don't actually like Bikram enough to want to go often, and two, their schedule sucks for me. They have classes at 6/8, 9:30/10, 4/5, and 6/7 depending on the day. It's hard to go to class before eating in the day because it's such a hard workout, but it's also hard to get up early enough to eat breakfast, digest, and still go to 9:30 class on a relatively empty stomach - and then you've spent the whole morning. It feels terribly inefficient. By four o'clock, though, I'm not interested in exercise anymore. I would go all the time if they had, say, a 12 noon class. The other problem with falling out of routine is it's very hard, even just on weekends, for me to remember to drink water when I'm not at school. At school, I sit down with my backpack in front of me and my water bottle ready to jump into my left hand while I take notes with my right about four times a day. At home, I leave my water bottle or water glass in one room, wander into another, and forget about it. Finally, without a schedule of tasks, it's easy to think it's time to eat sooner, because there's nothing I have to accomplish first.
So here I am, four spurious pounds up, and tomorrow is the end of phase 2. I really want to shed most of this by tomorrow to get an accurate view of how much I've lost in these 99 days. I took a Cascara Sagrada this morning, which may sound a little bit bulimic, but it's really not, because the calories are long since absorbed - I just want to get the poop out. I'm also going to drink at least 4 bottles of water today (what I was drinking during the cleanse, 3 being typical for a schoolday) to flush out the bloating. I'll check my weight throughout the day and possibly take another Cascara in the afternoon, pay attention to fiber and salt content, etc. I admit it's rather shallow to be so concerned about my weight on a particular day, but okay, I care, and to be fair, it's as much about accuracy as anything else.
What's a little disturbing about these "binges" is that they tend to peter themselves out between 2000-2500 calories. Why should that be disturbing? Because the "that's enough" response is neither totally overridden nor occurs at an appropriate level. My body naturally stops me between 2000-2500 calories in a day. There's evidence of adaptation, because I usually feel rather stuffed and not entirely comfortable after that large amount of food, and also, if I am eating slowly and have been eating good food and gotten my exercise, I notice the cues coming in at the level I want them to - feeling satisfied at each meal at a point that lets it all add up to 1500-1800. But it appears that some aspects of my appetite are resistant to change. I just hope I am not fighting the urge to eat 2300 calories a day and weigh 165 pounds forever.
I've been reluctant to use the word "binge" for my episodes of overeating. I know that true binging is a much uglier affair. When I "binge", I eat about 2500 calories in a day. Many bulimics and binge eaters can eat 2500 calories in a sitting. I also don't have the sense of uncontrol that characterizes problem bineing... I think. I don't feel like I can't stop myself, just like I don't care. I will think "damn it, this is going to put me over maintenance calories, but resisting what I want is just not worth it right now." So... that happens sometimes, and I am reluctant to use the word "binge" not only because it may trivialize a more serious issue, but because I don't want to start thinking of it in terms of that more serious issue, i.e., feeling like I start to lose control simply because I'm using a word that implies that. I brought it out though because I don't know a lighter word for it.
I look back at this weekend and think, what happened? On Friday we spontaneously stopped for a Peanut Buster Parfait after Bikram yoga. I actually thought that was great, because I'd been feeling an itch to have some ice cream, and also chocolate, for a while. I'd been trying to figure in a time when I could afford those calories, and as we were riding home from our 670-calorie workout my boyfriend commented that the 700-calorie dessert sounded real good. I figured - yes, great exchange, I'll still be in deficit for today and this'll satisfy my ice-cream craving so I don't have to think about it anymore. And that seemed to work out great. I don't think this was the trigger. I just bring it up because this was my idea of working to avoid a "binge."
I would be in denial if I didn't acknowledge that pot has something to do with it. Pot causes munchies, and it always seems to cause more irresistible munchies when I go back to it after a break. I don't always go over calories when I smoke pot, but it makes it harder.
I usually "binge" on particular foods, but they aren't "trigger foods" because most of the time I eat those foods in normal amounts. Bread and cheese, particularly mozzarella cheese for some reason, ice cream or chocolate... and then peanut butter is in a special class. Peanut butter is my food that I eat when I'm craving something, but I know I will feel satisfied after just a tablespoon of it.
I might have been pushing it with the carbohydrates in the past week. We did have enriched-flour bagels during the week, and I had made those muffins which, while whole-wheat, obviously contained sugar. Boyfriend wanted to make pizza Saturday night, so that contributed some carbs. And I had eaten random food from the library and coffee on campus earlier in the week. Once I realized I was on the decline, I tried to at least eat protein-heavy foods rather than carbs in the hope of helping to terminate it.
What really I think screws me up though is going off my routine. I get routinized easily, and so I end up forgetting things when the schedule changes. Exercising is harder to make sure I do when it doesn't automatically fit into a slot in my day. I got that intro package at Bikram to go to over the break, but there are two things that aren't working great about my plans to go almost every day: one, I don't actually like Bikram enough to want to go often, and two, their schedule sucks for me. They have classes at 6/8, 9:30/10, 4/5, and 6/7 depending on the day. It's hard to go to class before eating in the day because it's such a hard workout, but it's also hard to get up early enough to eat breakfast, digest, and still go to 9:30 class on a relatively empty stomach - and then you've spent the whole morning. It feels terribly inefficient. By four o'clock, though, I'm not interested in exercise anymore. I would go all the time if they had, say, a 12 noon class. The other problem with falling out of routine is it's very hard, even just on weekends, for me to remember to drink water when I'm not at school. At school, I sit down with my backpack in front of me and my water bottle ready to jump into my left hand while I take notes with my right about four times a day. At home, I leave my water bottle or water glass in one room, wander into another, and forget about it. Finally, without a schedule of tasks, it's easy to think it's time to eat sooner, because there's nothing I have to accomplish first.
So here I am, four spurious pounds up, and tomorrow is the end of phase 2. I really want to shed most of this by tomorrow to get an accurate view of how much I've lost in these 99 days. I took a Cascara Sagrada this morning, which may sound a little bit bulimic, but it's really not, because the calories are long since absorbed - I just want to get the poop out. I'm also going to drink at least 4 bottles of water today (what I was drinking during the cleanse, 3 being typical for a schoolday) to flush out the bloating. I'll check my weight throughout the day and possibly take another Cascara in the afternoon, pay attention to fiber and salt content, etc. I admit it's rather shallow to be so concerned about my weight on a particular day, but okay, I care, and to be fair, it's as much about accuracy as anything else.
What's a little disturbing about these "binges" is that they tend to peter themselves out between 2000-2500 calories. Why should that be disturbing? Because the "that's enough" response is neither totally overridden nor occurs at an appropriate level. My body naturally stops me between 2000-2500 calories in a day. There's evidence of adaptation, because I usually feel rather stuffed and not entirely comfortable after that large amount of food, and also, if I am eating slowly and have been eating good food and gotten my exercise, I notice the cues coming in at the level I want them to - feeling satisfied at each meal at a point that lets it all add up to 1500-1800. But it appears that some aspects of my appetite are resistant to change. I just hope I am not fighting the urge to eat 2300 calories a day and weigh 165 pounds forever.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Cleanse summary
So day 6 was... meh. About the same as day 5. I ate a banana, an orange, some almonds and some greens right before my Bikram class and felt pretty much fine during the class.
Day 7 I was surprised at how hungry I wasn't. I drank about 600 calories' worth of juice before dinner and wasn't really that hungry. I learned that if you make your own juice, you should peel your citrus before putting it in the juicer. My mom said I could just put it in with the peel, so that's what I did at first, but it imparted a disagreeable bitter taste and made my stomach feel not so good.
I was actually a little worried my metabolism might slow down due to the low calories all week and the fact that I was getting suspiciously not-hungry, but I kept exercising all week and have eaten two quite-large meals now, so I hope any slowing will quickly reverse itself.
I doubt I will do something quite like this again. The individual components (liver support herbs, laxatives, various diet restrictions) might be useful, but the salt restriction in particular (which my mom said was the most important part) really didn't do much for me. I felt crappy when I stopped eating salt, and yeah I got used to it, but I felt weaker than usual the whole week and now that I've reintroduced it, I feel much more robust and am experiencing no ill effects at all adapting the other direction. If I do the raw thing again, I'll have to prepare ahead of time, looking up raw recipes and making sure we have a food processor and maybe a dehydrator and sprouting some beans and such. People who live a raw lifestyle have those additional tools to help them get good nutrition, especially protein, which was very much lacking in our raw phase.
For the sake of interest, here was my diet during the cleanse. The last dinner on Saturday was obviously breaking the fast, and the Saturday before, not shown here, we had a psyllium shake as well as our Cascara sagrada after dinner:
---END CLEANSE---
Saturday 12/11
12 oz apple-lemon-ginger juice (180)
12 oz carrot-orange juice (235)
6 oz unsweetened blue/cranberry juice (60)
8 oz apple-tangerine-lime juice (120)
Tofurky, yams, greens, and chocolate (500+150+20+105+40=815)
180+235+60+120+815=1410
-BEGIN JUICE FAST-
Friday 12/10
Banana, soaked almonds, and 1/2 small apple (100+200+40=340)
Banana and unsweetened blue/cranberry juice (100+60=160)
Banana, orange, almonds, and greens (100+100+200+10=410)
Greens under avocado, dried cranberries, and sunflower seeds (20+150+130+50=350)
Psyllium shake in water
340+160+410+350=1260
Thursday 12/9
1/2 green pummelo, 1/2 pear, and sunflower seeds (30+50+210=290)
Unsweetened blue/cranberry juice (60)
Peppered large tomato (60)
Baby carrots (35)
Dates with coconut butter and grapes (130+140+75=345)
Tangerine (40)
Psyllium shake in water
Spinach and tomato salad with avocado, apple, and sunflower seeds (60+100+40+50=250)
Dried cranberries (130)
290+60+60+35+345+40+250+130=1210
--BEGIN RAW PHASE--
Wednesday 12/8
Apple with unsalted peanut butter and 1/2 grapefruit (100+180+30=310)
Salad with nuts, raisins, avocado, and a rice cake (30+65+100+100+70=365)
2 tangerines and a rice cake (80+70=150)
Psyllium shake with grapefruit juice (90)
Nutritional yeast (25)
Rice, sweet potatoes, and broccoli (320+150+50=520)
310+365+150+90+25+520=1460
Tuesday 12/7
Sunday 12/5
--- BEGIN CLEANSE ---
Day 7 I was surprised at how hungry I wasn't. I drank about 600 calories' worth of juice before dinner and wasn't really that hungry. I learned that if you make your own juice, you should peel your citrus before putting it in the juicer. My mom said I could just put it in with the peel, so that's what I did at first, but it imparted a disagreeable bitter taste and made my stomach feel not so good.
I was actually a little worried my metabolism might slow down due to the low calories all week and the fact that I was getting suspiciously not-hungry, but I kept exercising all week and have eaten two quite-large meals now, so I hope any slowing will quickly reverse itself.
I doubt I will do something quite like this again. The individual components (liver support herbs, laxatives, various diet restrictions) might be useful, but the salt restriction in particular (which my mom said was the most important part) really didn't do much for me. I felt crappy when I stopped eating salt, and yeah I got used to it, but I felt weaker than usual the whole week and now that I've reintroduced it, I feel much more robust and am experiencing no ill effects at all adapting the other direction. If I do the raw thing again, I'll have to prepare ahead of time, looking up raw recipes and making sure we have a food processor and maybe a dehydrator and sprouting some beans and such. People who live a raw lifestyle have those additional tools to help them get good nutrition, especially protein, which was very much lacking in our raw phase.
For the sake of interest, here was my diet during the cleanse. The last dinner on Saturday was obviously breaking the fast, and the Saturday before, not shown here, we had a psyllium shake as well as our Cascara sagrada after dinner:
---END CLEANSE---
Saturday 12/11
12 oz apple-lemon-ginger juice (180)
12 oz carrot-orange juice (235)
6 oz unsweetened blue/cranberry juice (60)
8 oz apple-tangerine-lime juice (120)
Tofurky, yams, greens, and chocolate (500+150+20+105+40=815)
180+235+60+120+815=1410
-BEGIN JUICE FAST-
Friday 12/10
Banana, soaked almonds, and 1/2 small apple (100+200+40=340)
Banana and unsweetened blue/cranberry juice (100+60=160)
Banana, orange, almonds, and greens (100+100+200+10=410)
Greens under avocado, dried cranberries, and sunflower seeds (20+150+130+50=350)
Psyllium shake in water
340+160+410+350=1260
Thursday 12/9
1/2 green pummelo, 1/2 pear, and sunflower seeds (30+50+210=290)
Unsweetened blue/cranberry juice (60)
Peppered large tomato (60)
Baby carrots (35)
Dates with coconut butter and grapes (130+140+75=345)
Tangerine (40)
Psyllium shake in water
Spinach and tomato salad with avocado, apple, and sunflower seeds (60+100+40+50=250)
Dried cranberries (130)
290+60+60+35+345+40+250+130=1210
--BEGIN RAW PHASE--
Wednesday 12/8
Apple with unsalted peanut butter and 1/2 grapefruit (100+180+30=310)
Salad with nuts, raisins, avocado, and a rice cake (30+65+100+100+70=365)
2 tangerines and a rice cake (80+70=150)
Psyllium shake with grapefruit juice (90)
Nutritional yeast (25)
Rice, sweet potatoes, and broccoli (320+150+50=520)
310+365+150+90+25+520=1460
Tuesday 12/7
1/2 grapefruit, 1/2 apple with unsalted peanut butter, and unsweetened blue/cranberry juice (30+50+90+60=230)
2 tangerines (80)
2 tangerines (80)
Rice and beans (160+115=275)
Dried cranberries and walnuts (200+130=330)
Psyllium shake with dilute apple juice (60)
1/2 tangerine (20)
Rice cake (70)
1/2 acorn squash filled with rice, raisins, and almonds (85+120+30+50=285)
230+80+275+330+60+20+70+285=1350
Psyllium shake with dilute apple juice (60)
1/2 tangerine (20)
Rice cake (70)
1/2 acorn squash filled with rice, raisins, and almonds (85+120+30+50=285)
230+80+275+330+60+20+70+285=1350
Monday 12/6
Oatmeal with unsalted peanut butter and raisins (150+90+65=305)
Apple (100)
2 rice cakes, walnuts, almonds, dried cranberries, and date pieces (140+200+130=470)
Psyllium shake with grapefruit juice (90)
Baby carrots (35)
Oatmeal with unsalted peanut butter and raisins (150+90+65=305)
Apple (100)
2 rice cakes, walnuts, almonds, dried cranberries, and date pieces (140+200+130=470)
Psyllium shake with grapefruit juice (90)
Baby carrots (35)
Rice and beans and broccoli (160+115+50=325)
305+100+470+90+35+325=1325
305+100+470+90+35+325=1325
Sunday 12/5
Rice cake with unsalted peanut butter and dried cranberries (70+180+65=315)
Date pieces (130)
Vegetables and chopped nuts over rice and dried cranberries (150+200+130=480)
Unsweetened blue/cranberry juice (60)
Psyllium shake with dilute apple juice (60)
Rice noodles and tofu in seaweed broth (200+200=400)
Grapes (100)
Psyllium shake with dilute apple juice (60)
Rice noodles and tofu in seaweed broth (200+200=400)
Grapes (100)
315+130+480+60+60+400+100=1545
--- BEGIN CLEANSE ---
Saturday, August 28, 2010
I've got a confession to make...
... which is absolutely the most cliche title I could have given this post, especially considering I don't think any of my 3 supposed followers actually read my blog, and if there a were a real follower, s/he could easily deduce most of it from my posted data. But this needs to be written and analyzed because that Annika Q's Universal Solution to any problem.
My habits are slipping. I've begun drinking too much coffee and smoking pot too often, which you wouldn't know from the data. I also have been exercising only every other day all week. It started out with good reasons - we spent most of the day driving back on Sunday, I knew ahead of time I wouldn't get any more exercise than the bike ride home. Tuesday, I was in some combination of pain or lightheaded hunger most of the day, so I gave myself a pass on that one. But there was really no excuse for Thursday. Today, I really really was going to go out to the track... and then I got a little distracted and got too hungry to go out, had to eat lunch, and then was too full to want to run. I don't know if I'll end up going today, because there's a lot to do. Including reading for Monday, which is of course about to become the biggest time-sink in my life. At least I've eaten low calories on the days I didn't exercise - the diet really hasn't been that hard, calorically anyway. But I did experience some weirdly strong carb cravings this afternoon, and I notice that I've sort of started ignoring the reduced-dairy thing I had started a while ago. Besides, exercise is important not only because it's generally good for me but because it leads to larger deficits. I can eat lower total calories on days I don't exercise, but I can do larger deficits when I do exercise because 500 calories of exercise doesn't make me hungry for 500 extra calories.
Part of this maybe has got to do with the general disturbance this month has been. My job ended so I didn't go somewhere in the morning every day. I went on a bike trip, then was back for a week, then went on a long camping trip and came back. It's hard to re-establish routine after those kinds of things. Also, the intense exercise I did on those excursions was largely fueled by energy bars, which are rewarding and full of sugar. Calorically, they were justified, but they may have left some baggage.
Part of it may be psyching myself out. School's about to start, and I might be using it as an excuse to start failing early, in a way. I also just lost 4 pounds and zoomed past my first goal in a week away, which sends a bit of a "you can be lax" message. And I'm now at the weight I've been for most of my life. It seems a little less pressing to change what I'm used to than it was to undo recent damage.
Part of it is probably what I'm reading. What you read has a tendency to change your head - that's the whole premise of school. What I've lately been reading is PastaQueen (see sidebar). I'm up to a point in her archives where she has been basically stable for I don't know, a year or so at a point about 20 pounds from her goal weight, and isn't really bothered by it. Let me tell you, I felt a lot more energized to go run when I was reading anorexic blogs, and a lot more prone to do push-ups in between clips of Supersize vs. Superskinny. I guess they really are "thinspiring." That was the whole point of the original "obsessional diet" title - I'm so blah about this stuff normally, I have to practically pretend to have an ED to find an effective medium.
Although school will definitely be a time-sink, I think it'll be helpful to an extent by routinizing my life. I'll be on campus with the gym every day, and there's a specific morning window when I can do my exercise. Also, it'll give me stuff to think about besides my stupid weight. This has basically been my project all summer, and it's been particularly thought-consuming in August since my job ended. It's also getting to the point where the results are slowing down and the execution isn't so novel anymore. As long as I can get my exercise out of the way early each day, it'll be easy to go the whole day without thinking about food, then I spend 10 minutes planning tomorrow's and each night I get to look at an effortless deficit. Because I'll have other things to pay attention to, hopefully the next 5-10 pounds will just whiz by even if they're not going away that quickly.
Whatever happens tonight and tomorrow, I'm going on a neighborhood run Monday morning. I'll do 20 minutes of elliptical on Tuesday before yoga, and I'll do a regular 40 minutes before class on Wednesday. Repeat for Thursday and Friday, and go to the track Saturday. That's how I'm kicking off my first week of school. The diet should take care of itself - we planned dinner and breakfast for each day of the week, and whatever I bring to school is all I can eat for lunch and snacks. I've also added some new features to my second spreadsheet, which starts on the 14th, and which will estimate my daily deficit.
My habits are slipping. I've begun drinking too much coffee and smoking pot too often, which you wouldn't know from the data. I also have been exercising only every other day all week. It started out with good reasons - we spent most of the day driving back on Sunday, I knew ahead of time I wouldn't get any more exercise than the bike ride home. Tuesday, I was in some combination of pain or lightheaded hunger most of the day, so I gave myself a pass on that one. But there was really no excuse for Thursday. Today, I really really was going to go out to the track... and then I got a little distracted and got too hungry to go out, had to eat lunch, and then was too full to want to run. I don't know if I'll end up going today, because there's a lot to do. Including reading for Monday, which is of course about to become the biggest time-sink in my life. At least I've eaten low calories on the days I didn't exercise - the diet really hasn't been that hard, calorically anyway. But I did experience some weirdly strong carb cravings this afternoon, and I notice that I've sort of started ignoring the reduced-dairy thing I had started a while ago. Besides, exercise is important not only because it's generally good for me but because it leads to larger deficits. I can eat lower total calories on days I don't exercise, but I can do larger deficits when I do exercise because 500 calories of exercise doesn't make me hungry for 500 extra calories.
Part of this maybe has got to do with the general disturbance this month has been. My job ended so I didn't go somewhere in the morning every day. I went on a bike trip, then was back for a week, then went on a long camping trip and came back. It's hard to re-establish routine after those kinds of things. Also, the intense exercise I did on those excursions was largely fueled by energy bars, which are rewarding and full of sugar. Calorically, they were justified, but they may have left some baggage.
Part of it may be psyching myself out. School's about to start, and I might be using it as an excuse to start failing early, in a way. I also just lost 4 pounds and zoomed past my first goal in a week away, which sends a bit of a "you can be lax" message. And I'm now at the weight I've been for most of my life. It seems a little less pressing to change what I'm used to than it was to undo recent damage.
Part of it is probably what I'm reading. What you read has a tendency to change your head - that's the whole premise of school. What I've lately been reading is PastaQueen (see sidebar). I'm up to a point in her archives where she has been basically stable for I don't know, a year or so at a point about 20 pounds from her goal weight, and isn't really bothered by it. Let me tell you, I felt a lot more energized to go run when I was reading anorexic blogs, and a lot more prone to do push-ups in between clips of Supersize vs. Superskinny. I guess they really are "thinspiring." That was the whole point of the original "obsessional diet" title - I'm so blah about this stuff normally, I have to practically pretend to have an ED to find an effective medium.
Although school will definitely be a time-sink, I think it'll be helpful to an extent by routinizing my life. I'll be on campus with the gym every day, and there's a specific morning window when I can do my exercise. Also, it'll give me stuff to think about besides my stupid weight. This has basically been my project all summer, and it's been particularly thought-consuming in August since my job ended. It's also getting to the point where the results are slowing down and the execution isn't so novel anymore. As long as I can get my exercise out of the way early each day, it'll be easy to go the whole day without thinking about food, then I spend 10 minutes planning tomorrow's and each night I get to look at an effortless deficit. Because I'll have other things to pay attention to, hopefully the next 5-10 pounds will just whiz by even if they're not going away that quickly.
Whatever happens tonight and tomorrow, I'm going on a neighborhood run Monday morning. I'll do 20 minutes of elliptical on Tuesday before yoga, and I'll do a regular 40 minutes before class on Wednesday. Repeat for Thursday and Friday, and go to the track Saturday. That's how I'm kicking off my first week of school. The diet should take care of itself - we planned dinner and breakfast for each day of the week, and whatever I bring to school is all I can eat for lunch and snacks. I've also added some new features to my second spreadsheet, which starts on the 14th, and which will estimate my daily deficit.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Calculations and plans
So, we all go around saying "I must have a slow metabolism", being annoyed that our weight has a natural upward drift and we lose so slowly. But take a look at this:
The internet calculates my maintenance calorie needs to be about 2100.
My average intake for the past 34 days has been about 1850/day.
A pound of fat is 3500 calories.
Go ahead, run the numbers. According to this calculation, I've lost four times as much weight as I should have.
Have I been losing muscle? Maybe, but if so, there's not a whole lot I could be doing about that. I've also been strength training, and it's not as if I've been overdoing the deficit. They say you lose fluid at the beginning of any diet, even a healthy one, so maybe that's it - although I don't quite get why. Or it might be that my metabolism is just as high as any other 20-year-old, and the natural upward drift is due to different deficiencies in my bodily makeup... such as the fact that "hunger" comprises at least two distinct physiological sensations.
Either way, I've lost 10 pounds in the first month (now 171) and I'm happy about that. I'm going to continue as I've been and hope to lose another 5 pounds in each of the next two months (more or less, still sticking with 160 by 99 days). If it slows beyond that rate, I'll start by just pushing my daily target down to 1700. I anticipate, around 165 or 160, a straight up plateau, and at that point I have 2 strategies - eat for a week at maintenance, and then drop the target to 1500. By that point, hopefully, my needs will be less and it won't strain my energy so much (1650 seems to be my lower limit lately). I don't know what will happen at 150, but since I've never been lighter at this height I wouldn't be surprised to stall out there as well. I then still have the further step of 1200 available if necessary.
This weekend I'm doing something a little different for my booster. Instead of eating an overload for one day, I'm spending two days at about maintenance, or rather, eating intuitively. Yesterday I ate as follows:
Breakfast out (615)
Mozzarella, avocado, mushroom and tomato crepe (550)
Coffee with cream and sugar (45)
Andes mint (20)
Fruit grain bar and 1 square dark chocolate (130+55=185)
Bean salad over green salad (170+30=200)
Frozen yogurt and fruit sundae (2*140+75+25=380)
Frozen grapes (50)
Whole wheat pasta with cheddar cheese (400+100=500)
1 Triscuit with 1 tsp honey peanut butter (40)
615+185+200+380+50+500+40=1970
I did not end up having any exercise, but I will at least do some wall pushups and such today, and my new running shoes should come soon, which will motivate me to run a lot more. I ate scrambled eggs with spinach and cheddar for breakfast, and we are going berry picking so I will be eating lots of fruit today and for a bit. Fruit is awesome, it's delicious and snacky but healthy and low calorie density because it's also full of water and fiber.
The internet calculates my maintenance calorie needs to be about 2100.
My average intake for the past 34 days has been about 1850/day.
A pound of fat is 3500 calories.
Go ahead, run the numbers. According to this calculation, I've lost four times as much weight as I should have.
Have I been losing muscle? Maybe, but if so, there's not a whole lot I could be doing about that. I've also been strength training, and it's not as if I've been overdoing the deficit. They say you lose fluid at the beginning of any diet, even a healthy one, so maybe that's it - although I don't quite get why. Or it might be that my metabolism is just as high as any other 20-year-old, and the natural upward drift is due to different deficiencies in my bodily makeup... such as the fact that "hunger" comprises at least two distinct physiological sensations.
Either way, I've lost 10 pounds in the first month (now 171) and I'm happy about that. I'm going to continue as I've been and hope to lose another 5 pounds in each of the next two months (more or less, still sticking with 160 by 99 days). If it slows beyond that rate, I'll start by just pushing my daily target down to 1700. I anticipate, around 165 or 160, a straight up plateau, and at that point I have 2 strategies - eat for a week at maintenance, and then drop the target to 1500. By that point, hopefully, my needs will be less and it won't strain my energy so much (1650 seems to be my lower limit lately). I don't know what will happen at 150, but since I've never been lighter at this height I wouldn't be surprised to stall out there as well. I then still have the further step of 1200 available if necessary.
This weekend I'm doing something a little different for my booster. Instead of eating an overload for one day, I'm spending two days at about maintenance, or rather, eating intuitively. Yesterday I ate as follows:
Breakfast out (615)
Mozzarella, avocado, mushroom and tomato crepe (550)
Coffee with cream and sugar (45)
Andes mint (20)
Fruit grain bar and 1 square dark chocolate (130+55=185)
Bean salad over green salad (170+30=200)
Frozen yogurt and fruit sundae (2*140+75+25=380)
Frozen grapes (50)
Whole wheat pasta with cheddar cheese (400+100=500)
1 Triscuit with 1 tsp honey peanut butter (40)
615+185+200+380+50+500+40=1970
I did not end up having any exercise, but I will at least do some wall pushups and such today, and my new running shoes should come soon, which will motivate me to run a lot more. I ate scrambled eggs with spinach and cheddar for breakfast, and we are going berry picking so I will be eating lots of fruit today and for a bit. Fruit is awesome, it's delicious and snacky but healthy and low calorie density because it's also full of water and fiber.
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