Genetics

People talk about their natural shape, whether they're genetically thin or fat. I honestly have no idea. I haven't eaten "naturally" in a long time - either I've been driven by conditioning, coupled with ignorance, to overeat, or recently, counting calories. There were a couple of times since moving out that I lived by myself with relatively low stress and felt I was eating normally, but those periods didn't last long enough for my weight to stabilize.

My maternal grandma is a petite little thing. She's 5'2" and has been something like 110 pounds most of her life. My mom is taller, 5'6", and slender. She's usually been 120-130 as far as I know and she has sizes from 4 to 10 in her drawers. My grandpa died before I was born, but I get the impression he was lean, and my uncle is appropriately bird-boned. So I should be naturally skinny.

My paternal grandma is 4'10" and I have no idea what she weighs, but her pants must be at least size 16, if not bigger. I only have one aunt on that side, and she's... plump. She doesn't look bad, but I wouldn't want to be her size at my age. Stocky is probably the best word to describe the men of the family, who range from a little dumpy to hard and lean, but in no case light and in most cases tall. My dad himself was a wiry teen and a lean young adult, but he's starting to pack some pudge now that he's approaching middle age. So I should be naturally not-skinny.

After observing for a while, I think I've got my mom's bones and my dad's fat pattern. I've probably got a real wide natural range as a result. I'm probably inclined "naturally" to eat up and pack it into butt and boobs. But I'm not large-framed. I also have the room to dump a lot of the fat without stripping down to the bones, and thus be "naturally" thin like my mom. Needless to say, that is what I prefer to do. Between my two grandmas, I'd rather be a size 2 at 65 than a size 20 (guessing at the numbers, obviously, just to make the point). I just hope the high weights I've reached in my teens are the top of the ladder, that I will continue to lose, find a stable weight between 120-135, and when middle age hits, that I will recalculate the numbers and maintain, or at least, not exceed 150 or size 12.