Remember in the Matrix, when Morpheus brings Neo into the first simulation that isn't the Matrix? Neo is actually bald and scrawny from being kept in a grow chamber his whole life, but in the simulation he has hair. Morpheus calls this "residual self image."
People also talk about distorted body image, but it's a little different, because with distorted body image a person looks in the mirror and thinks they look fat when they're actually skinny.
What I felt was distorted for a very long time was the first thing, not the second. I would go around with an idea of what I looked like - a mental self-image - and then when I would catch myself in mirrors I would be unpleasantly surprised. My face looks that pudgy from the side? My posture is that bad? My midsection is that thick and lumpy? It wasn't that I saw my actual figure unrealistically, but that I thought my figure was different than it actually was.
I feel like my mental self-image matches my real appearance now, and it's very nice to let go of that distress. When I catch myself in mirrors, my side profile is about the size and shape I think it will be, if not exactly how I'd like it to be. I'm not surprised to see my pouchy, flabby arms, and my face isn't drooping with unaccounted fat. What I see in the mirror isn't great, but it's so much easier when it's what I expect.
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